American Apparel’s business model is noble: Manufacture quality clothing in the United States, pay employees fair wages and use amateur porn as advertising. Unfortunately, the noble plan has failed. The controversial hipster-clothing giant announced its debts have risen to over $120 million. There is substantial doubt the company will continue producing skinny purple jeans -- or any other clothing.
This news will make feminist groups and bloggers that regularly target the company’s advertising, sexist CEO and cult hipster following rejoice. However, we at AskMen will miss having American Apparel around and are grieving in the best way we know how: a Top 10 list.
This news will make feminist groups and bloggers that regularly target the company’s advertising, sexist CEO and cult hipster following rejoice. However, we at AskMen will miss having American Apparel around and are grieving in the best way we know how: a Top 10 list.
Knowing the name of the largest clothing manufacturer in the United States
It’s becoming impossible for American manufacturers to compete with companies that use cheap foreign labor. With American Apparel, at least we knew there was one company doing it. We don’t know what clothing brand is in second place now, do you?
Sasha Grey in butt-less tights
It’s not like we don’t get enough Sasha Grey these days with her new mainstream acting career. However, we’ll miss these ads for the pure sexy absurdity of it. You look at the back of your weekly entertainment rag and there’s a porn star in butt-less tights. So fun.
Sexy salesclerks who ignore us
We walk into American Apparel stores expecting the staff not to help us. That’s what we like about it. The company obviously hires girls based on looks and not retail experience. Their job is to act like the popular clique in high school, both exciting and intimidating. It’s fun to see girls like you did as a teen -- arousing to look at and confusing to engage with.
Ads that moon us
Hello, butt! These advertisements are great for two huge reasons: First, not nearly enough media focuses on nude female butts. (We forget how cute and sexy butts are because everything else is so focused on cleavage and legs.) Second, remember the teenage joy of mooning someone from a car window? This ad does.
Provocative long socks
Our girlfriends buy these socks with the intention of matching them with a cute vintage jogging outfit. You want her to wear them during sex. Neither ever happens. Promises get made, but the socks are uncomfortable and sit in her drawer. Still, seeing them in ads reminds us of the provocative long-socks sex fantasy we never knew we had until AA.
Hipsters doing the walk of shame in shiny tights
Sometimes it’s difficult to tell if a hipster is wearing the same clothes they slept in. You’re not sure if they’re doing the walk-of-shame after a one-night stand or always look messy. However, it’s blatant with women in AA tights. The elasticity stretched during the night and now their shiny pink tights hang on them like elephant skin. It’s a wonderful (read: absurd) sight.
Fashion models with the "morning-after-a-drunken-one-night-stand" look
Every man knows that look. You wake up groggy and see the girl you met at the bar last night. She’s not as beautiful as you remember. Her make-up is smeared, hair messed up and for some reason she’s wearing just her pink shiny tights. She wakes up and looks guilty but still sexy. AA made that its advertising. Genius.
The absurd CEO Dov Charney
Charney is the hipster Ari Gold. He has built a gallant fashion empire that does great things for labor, the environment and gay rights. Yet, he’s still the porniest guy in America. He screams at his employees, calls them sluts and then tries to sleep with them. There seems to be a lawsuit against him for sexual harassment every year. Jane magazine ran a story that said he had received oral sex from an employee during the course of the interview.
Amateur porn posed as advertising
Flipping through a normal magazine and suddenly seeing a naked girl is like discovering a Benjamin in a stack of George Washingtons. Plus, she looks just like the cute girl who flirted with you at that hip dive bar last night. Wait, that may actually be that girl. Either way, the image is in your head for the rest of the day.
The Best Bottoms! Competition
There is a lot of things we can get lost in on the internet: fantasy football stats, MP3s, Facebook. However, to get lost in a sea of beautiful butts is truly a divine experience. AA staged a contest looking for the best bottoms in the world. Thousands sent in sexy ass shots. Who won? Who knows, we haven’t gotten past the honorable mentions.
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