Top 10: Worst Pickup Lines
By The Readers Of ASKMEN
Now, there are good pickup lines and bad pickup lines, funny ones and creepy ones, and there are ones that work and ones that don’t, but even the worst pickup lines can be effective. Stacey Gates Charter put it nicely: “A cheesy pickup line said with the intention of getting a laugh can work as an icebreaker. But you have to make sure you make it into a joke. Then once you make us laugh, we will be more inclined to spend some time getting to know you.” As you can see, delivery is the key to success.
Patience Phillips also had something interesting to say: “Saying something ‘clean’ and witty would get my attention if it includes grooming, fresh breath and a quality cologne that suits his pheromones.” So, essentially you don’t even have to say anything to make your first impression. That’s like winning the lottery without picking numbers.
Look at that, men, free advice from the other team. Read it and take it to heart.
Let’s get to the good stuff. Coming straight from your comments, here is the Top 10: Worst Pickup Lines.
Are those space pants? Because your ass is out of this world.
Carlos R Mortera - Overland Park, Kansas
As a general rule, don’t reference a woman’s ass upon first meeting her -- especially in conjunction with a “joke” that a second grader could come up with. First, you’ll come off as crass. Second, your true IQ will shine through.
As a general rule, don’t reference a woman’s ass upon first meeting her -- especially in conjunction with a “joke” that a second grader could come up with. First, you’ll come off as crass. Second, your true IQ will shine through.
Your dad must be a terrorist because he made a bomb.
Amota Ionut - Baia Mare, Maramures, Romania
“I actually heard someone say this to a female friend of mine. The reaction to the pickup line was five people started laughing all at once at the poor boy. This has got to make it on the list. Not only is calling a girl a bomb really cheesy, but anything that links her dad to a terrorist is only gonna get you in trouble.”
Sounds like something a freshman frat boy would say at his first college party. Also, Amota, we realize that you live in Romania, but that whole bomb/terrorist thing in the U.S. is so 2001.
“I actually heard someone say this to a female friend of mine. The reaction to the pickup line was five people started laughing all at once at the poor boy. This has got to make it on the list. Not only is calling a girl a bomb really cheesy, but anything that links her dad to a terrorist is only gonna get you in trouble.”
Sounds like something a freshman frat boy would say at his first college party. Also, Amota, we realize that you live in Romania, but that whole bomb/terrorist thing in the U.S. is so 2001.
If I was a fly, I'd land on you first. Because you're the sh*t.
Andrew Montgomery - Hattiesburg, Mississippi
OK, we get that anyone who says this is trying to be creative, but this pickup line doesn’t stand a snowballs chance in hell to becoming what white is to rice.
Excuse me, can you give me directions...
Joe Kim
“Pulled up to a young lady on the street in my ride and asked ‘Excuse me, can you give me directions...’ and she looked ready to help until I said "to your house?" Then she walked away and said "Nice try."
We agree: Nice try with that pickup line. We also know that you lifted that bulging creativity from a David Lee Roth song.
Oh, excuse me, but I think you dropped something.
Matthew DeBonis - Troy, New York
“Then hand her a piece of paper with your phone number.”
This reeks of desperation, a total lack of confidence and the inability to communicate. In our esteemed opinion, this is the equivalent of asking permission to kiss a girl. We imagine that anyone who attempts this tactic runs away in fear as soon as the paper is in the target's hand. And you wonder why she doesn’t call.
My penis just died; can I bury it in your ass?
Blake Hemminger
“My buddy's favorite: It’s never been used, but it cannot be too effective.”
Admittedly, this made us laugh pretty hard. Then we got to thinking that there’s not much you can do with a dead penis (in an ass or anywhere else).
Hey, you look really fun - I had to come talk to you.
Joel Aaron Stix - Edmonton, Alberta, Canada
“This is the worst or most controversial one I've used. It can be misinterpreted easily depending on the girl, and can result in a backlash. The point intended is to give some sort of a reason as to why you randomly picked this girl to come talk to. She may pick it up as: ‘Oh, this guy is insinuating I'd be fun or good in bed.’ Anyways, I used this once and the girl of course took it the wrong way, resulted with a gasp, a deep glare and walking away. However, I've used it before and it has resulted in a number. Use this one with caution guys."
Well, aren’t you essentially saying she looks like she’d be good? In the case that you are being genuine with this one, why not just say “Hi”?
“This is the worst or most controversial one I've used. It can be misinterpreted easily depending on the girl, and can result in a backlash. The point intended is to give some sort of a reason as to why you randomly picked this girl to come talk to. She may pick it up as: ‘Oh, this guy is insinuating I'd be fun or good in bed.’ Anyways, I used this once and the girl of course took it the wrong way, resulted with a gasp, a deep glare and walking away. However, I've used it before and it has resulted in a number. Use this one with caution guys."
Well, aren’t you essentially saying she looks like she’d be good? In the case that you are being genuine with this one, why not just say “Hi”?
I just wanted to see if I could make you come with one finger
Richard Dennis Fravel - Columbus, Ohio
“After beckoning someone with the ‘come here’ motion with the index finger say: ‘I just wanted to see if I could make you come with one finger."
Sounds like something you’d hear on Jersey Shore. Also, most guys shouldn’t oversell themselves; imagine if she actually believes you have magical sexual abilities. It’s like Heidi Montag saying: “No, they’re real.”
Does this smell like chloroform to you?
John Hill - San Antonio, Texas
A dude who says this has seen The Vanishing one too many times. Creepy, just creepy. Do you also have a trapdoor in your kitchen floor that leads to a secret room full of mid-18th century surgical tools?
My love for you is like diarrhea - I just can't keep it in.
Keith William Morris
“OK, I never used this one, but someone used it on a friend of mine and I swear it has to be the worst I've ever heard. I believe that would be borderline disturbing for any girl to hear.”
If you use this line, we think your love for her is just sh*tty. Unless she has a poop fetish, this pickup line is destined to fail.
In short, any reference to a bodily function, body part or your ability as a lover are off limits when attempting the fine art of the pickup.
“OK, I never used this one, but someone used it on a friend of mine and I swear it has to be the worst I've ever heard. I believe that would be borderline disturbing for any girl to hear.”
If you use this line, we think your love for her is just sh*tty. Unless she has a poop fetish, this pickup line is destined to fail.
In short, any reference to a bodily function, body part or your ability as a lover are off limits when attempting the fine art of the pickup.
No comments:
Post a Comment